Through my eyes

Surrealism by  KnownStranger Stolen moments and kisses that made the day. Without warning, vanished as quickly as they came. An ocean of tears, waking to a forgotten name. Love struck with promises of a better tomorrow. On the way out left hankies and pillows, drowning in the puddles of despair. ©2019 KnownStranger

-He- As He writes, His mind wonders all the time, If He’s having an out of body experience that never ends. With no idea of where he begins or ends His decisions, His thoughts, feelings and connections – No way of telling if they are truly His. The voice inside, always whispering, pushing, deciding and driving Him. Never able to resist the call even with all His might. Could it be His conscience? His soul? Or the voice of an outside entity? God? The Devil? Or is He just losing His mind? He’s always felt different, never felt like He fits in anywhere. No one’s ever understood Him, not even Himself, there’s nothing for Him here. Feeling He was born of hate, His thoughts linger, always dark and scary could this be His fate? Looking in the mirror He could never see His reflection, all He sees are shadows, never His face. And so He wonders if He can be saved or is it just too late? Talking to Himself with a voice so lazy. Maybe He is just crazy, Maybe

Today I woke up sad, I wasn't sure why then I got to thinking. Is it because  It's the start of a new year, people are busy with their new years resolutions, making plans, visualising their dreams, while  I on the other hand am still stuck trying to piece back together shattered dreams, trying desperately to mend broken bonds from the previous year? Or is it because Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, get a new name, a new identity ,in a new country maybe then I'd be able to start fresh and be happy?   I found myself thinking a lot can change in a year, heck a lot can change in a day. In all my life I have never felt so lost, so powerless. I feel like an empty shell.  Let's rewind to 2017, I had a job, a fiance and a decent enough apartment in the city. It wasn't perfect but life was good and I was happy. Things were only going to get better from here, this I believed with every fibre of my being. Planning vacations, looking at houses , I was t